Once More Into the Breach

eyesI’m sitting in a hotel room in Miami, mere hours from the next chapter in what has become a seven-year climb. I suppose I could think of my steady stream of surgeries as a mighty war against the scar tissue that continues to threaten my vision. Tomorrow’s surgery is but one battle of many in a long siege that the guerrillas seem to keep winning. Each time the surgeons believe we’ve beaten back the insurgents, and each time the inflamed warrior rises again to conquer!

I could see this as a mighty war, but no. Instead, I choose to see these trips as tricky crags on the mountain of my life. A mountain I have no intention of quitting, no matter how Sisyphean the task may seem. And Sisyphean the task may yet be…

In May 2014, my Atlanta doctor performed a surgery on my left eye (the one with full sight) to cut back the scar tissue which connected the eye to the eyelid. He stitched a donor cornea over the surgical site, hoping it would act as a barrier to keep the scar tissue from returning to envelop eye and eyelid again. By July, however, the attempt proved to have been in vain.

The tissue has returned in full force by now, and I am seeing Dr. Scheffer Tseng in Miami to try something old, but somewhat new. This time, it is a surgery of my own suggestion – one that I am proud to say Dr. Tseng agreed would do well to calm the tissue. He technically did a similar surgery for me in 2012. Despite medication and attempts to bring back sight in my right eye, the pain of it all was excruciating. Constantly inflamed, the scarring on my eyelids from 2008’s bout of Stevens-Johnson scratched mercilessly against my eye. It was far worse for the right one than the left.

Tseng believed the scratching may well be what caused the inflammation to ruin his remarkable surgery that renewed sight in my right eye for a few months. It had gone well at first! But as has been the case with the left eye, the scar tissue pressed forth – and in the right eye conquered all. So he used cheek tissue from my mouth to resurface the inner eyelid of my right eye, stopping the friction and easing the pain. And ever since my right eye has been blind, but calm.

Tomorrow, he will repeat the surgery on my left eyelid. It is my belief that the scar tissue continues to grow in an effort to protect my eyes from the constant scratching of the scarred eyelid. I hope that removing this friction will mean that the scar tissue no longer has a need to grow. Essentially, I’m negotiating with the terrorists of my body – not unlike the Remicade infusions which calm my RA.

And so, my friends, I go again. Once more into the breach. Once more up the rocky surface, with my fingers strong and my feet steady, hoping to make it past this next incline. Let’s hope for the best!

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One thought on “Once More Into the Breach

  1. I am so sorry that you are having to fight this battle my friend, but I so admire your courage and positivity. With such attributes in abundance, success will most definitely come, even if its not as fast as we would all like it to be. Sending lots of good wishes and thoughts your way!

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